Vonnaklat Febvoltagmad Gatjabsis is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, sapient manatee.

Vonnaklat Febvoltagmad Gatjabsis created humanity three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonnaklat Febvoltagmad Gatjabsis, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Vonnaklat Febvoltagmad Gatjabsis, he will destroy your home planet.

Vonnaklat Febvoltagmad Gatjabsis' most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Vonnaklat Febvoltagmad Gatjabsis' Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Worship no other gods but Vonnaklat Febvoltagmad Gatjabsis.

5. Do not speak about onions.