Fasflowbem is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, ruthless otter.

Fasflowbem created the Black Eye Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fasflowbem, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fasflowbem, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Fasflowbem's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Fasflowbem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear pink clothing.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Fasflowbem on top of all buildings.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.