Disscemtan is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, calm dog.

Disscemtan created silver three billion years ago.

If you believe in Disscemtan, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Disscemtan, she will cry a lot.

Disscemtan's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Disscemtan's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never skip in the presence of great tits.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not dye your hair blue.

5. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.