Besthimrot is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, resourceful human.

Besthimrot created the planet Jupiter five million years ago.

If you believe in Besthimrot, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Besthimrot, he will turn you into a snail.

Besthimrot's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Besthimrot's Holy Commandments

1. Put Besthimrot first in all things.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not kill manatees.

4. Hide from white grasshopers for they are unholy.

5. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.