Kabkinkandot is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, benevolent dog.

Kabkinkandot created Europe four million years ago.

If you believe in Kabkinkandot, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kabkinkandot, she will jump up and down on your head.

Kabkinkandot's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Kabkinkandot's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick nematodes.

2. Do not eat strawberries.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Always wear gray.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Kabkinkandot.