Zenvedgat is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, merciless bird.

Zenvedgat created carbon four billion years ago.

If you believe in Zenvedgat, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Zenvedgat, she will try to impress you with trees.

Zenvedgat's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Zenvedgat's Holy Commandments

1. Zenvedgat loves monkeys, so they must be respected.

2. Always make sure there are no snakes in a building before entering it.

3. You must love Zenvedgat.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never talk about fire.