Pidlandub is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, calm mongoose.

Pidlandub created bats eight million years ago.

If you believe in Pidlandub, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Pidlandub, it will manifest in front of you.

Pidlandub's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Pidlandub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never paint your chest indigo.

3. Do not drink water in white rooms.

4. Always help turtles in need.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.