Sawtarhog is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, effective goat.

Sawtarhog created Mount Everest five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sawtarhog, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Sawtarhog, she will turn you into a duck.

Sawtarhog's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Sawtarhog's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if eight dogs approach from the west.

2. Never think about optics near moths while wearing red stockings and balancing three aluminium spheres on your hands.

3. Never paint your face yellow.

4. Never think about thermodynamics.

5. Always take life seriously.