Yakstafpag is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, omniscient alligator.

Yakstafpag created an up quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Yakstafpag, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Yakstafpag, it will turn you into a mole.

Yakstafpag's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Yakstafpag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. You must pray to Yakstafpag three times a day.

4. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Yakstafpag.