Bamkar is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unsympathetic jackal.

Bamkar created humankind three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bamkar, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bamkar, he will turn you into a plant.

Bamkar's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Bamkar's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Bamkar.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never talk about dogs.

5. Do not stand on grass.