Bestomintaf is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, prudent cobra.

Bestomintaf created a bottom quark two years ago.

If you believe in Bestomintaf, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bestomintaf, he will not invite you to parties.

Bestomintaf's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Bestomintaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of gooseberries to tapirs while wearing red dresses.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force near whales while wearing white rings and balancing six iron spheres on your feet.

3. You must pray to Bestomintaf four times a day.

4. Never think about electromagnetism.

5. Never sing in the presence of swans.