Xemkabbugtag is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, witty squirrel.

Xemkabbugtag created the planet Saturn two million years ago.

If you believe in Xemkabbugtag, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Xemkabbugtag, it will curse you with boils.

Xemkabbugtag's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Xemkabbugtag's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear scarves.

2. Mites are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never think about thermodynamics near squirrels while wearing indigo corsets and balancing five nickel spheres on your neck.

4. Do not run in public.

5. Never hurt porpoises.