Pogkopbodtonk is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, humorless tortoise.

Pogkopbodtonk created the solar system eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pogkopbodtonk, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Pogkopbodtonk, he will think nothing of it.

Pogkopbodtonk's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Pogkopbodtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

2. You must love Pogkopbodtonk.

3. Never go into pink rooms.

4. Always treat swans with great respect.

5. Always help goats.