Lablimmum is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, unsympathetic hydra.

Lablimmum created the cosmos nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lablimmum, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Lablimmum, it will turn you into a goat.

Lablimmum's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Lablimmum's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant in the presence of hamsters.

2. Never wear boots.

3. You must pray to Lablimmum nine times a day.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Lablimmum in the centre of the settlement.