Tafjapzed is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, unfair jackal.

Tafjapzed created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tafjapzed, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tafjapzed, he will think nothing of it.

Tafjapzed's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Tafjapzed's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no ants in a building before entering it.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Hide if six pigs approach from the north.

4. Always help gulls in need.

5. Always look after injured doves.