Pangtun Nulltarghadfas is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, unthoughtful gorilla.

Pangtun Nulltarghadfas created dark matter three million years ago.

If you believe in Pangtun Nulltarghadfas, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Pangtun Nulltarghadfas, she will turn you into a snail.

Pangtun Nulltarghadfas' most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Pangtun Nulltarghadfas' Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your feet fawn.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never mention gulls.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Always wear indigo.