Narlortlabgid is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, slow yak.

Narlortlabgid created tapeworms two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Narlortlabgid, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Narlortlabgid, she will manifest in front of you.

Narlortlabgid's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Narlortlabgid's Holy Commandments

1. Narlortlabgid loves manatees, so they must be honoured.

2. Never think about ultrasonics near bats while wearing magenta shirts and balancing eight carbon spheres on your back.

3. Shrews are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not kill pigs.

5. You must love Narlortlabgid.