Logmumpog is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, blissful dolphin.

Logmumpog created dark matter six million years ago.

If you believe in Logmumpog, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Logmumpog, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Logmumpog's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Logmumpog's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate whales.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never talk about fluid mechanics near snails while wearing violet skirts and balancing six silicon spheres on your hands.

4. Run away if nine geese approach from the east.

5. Do not shave your head.