Cutwipjip is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, grumpy frog.

Cutwipjip created carbon three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cutwipjip, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cutwipjip, she will laugh at you.

Cutwipjip's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Cutwipjip's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into gray rooms.

2. Always help sick hamsters.

3. Cutwipjip must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never wear black skirts.