Kamgilgov is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, almighty troll.

Kamgilgov created snails seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kamgilgov, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Kamgilgov, she will turn you into a goat.

Kamgilgov's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Kamgilgov's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no manatees in a room before entering it.

2. Do not keep nine seals in a large pit.

3. Never wear rings.

4. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Never talk about thermodynamics near aardvarks while wearing turquoise shirts and balancing five platinum spheres on your feet.