Lamkemgat is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, fussy cat.

Lamkemgat created energy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lamkemgat, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Lamkemgat, he will remove you from existence.

Lamkemgat's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Lamkemgat's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce near dogs.

2. Erect three nickel sculptures of Lamkemgat on top of important buildings.

3. Never jump in the presence of dolphins.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Run away if four moths approach from the west.