Daphonzencap is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, passionate pigeon.

Daphonzencap created the planet Saturn seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Daphonzencap, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Daphonzencap, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Daphonzencap's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Daphonzencap's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight copper sculptures of Daphonzencap on top of important buildings.

2. Never write about asteroids.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never feed lentils to ants while wearing skirts.

5. Never look at black holes.