Lamganmif is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, conceited weasel.

Lamganmif created dark energy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamganmif, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Lamganmif, he will ignore you.

Lamganmif's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Lamganmif's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about comets.

2. Put Lamganmif first in all things.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Fast once a month.