Hapnigmis Raggessgig is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, awe-inspiring finch.

Hapnigmis Raggessgig created a strange quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hapnigmis Raggessgig, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Hapnigmis Raggessgig, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Hapnigmis Raggessgig's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Hapnigmis Raggessgig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never wear red rings.

3. Do not eat aubergines.

4. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always help moths in need.