Janlarnyam is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, sage badger.

Janlarnyam created the solar system nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Janlarnyam, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Janlarnyam, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Janlarnyam's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Janlarnyam's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt rats.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always obey Janlarnyam's priests.

4. Never write about planets.

5. Never mention doves.