Gep Futtikved is a god.

It takes the form of a large, slow elephant.

Gep Futtikved created a strange quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gep Futtikved, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Gep Futtikved, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Gep Futtikved's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Gep Futtikved's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in orange.

2. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Erect a large silver sculpture of Gep Futtikved on top of all buildings.