Dapfodjat Cutsawlarp is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, blissful bat.

Dapfodjat Cutsawlarp created snails five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dapfodjat Cutsawlarp, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Dapfodjat Cutsawlarp, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Dapfodjat Cutsawlarp's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Dapfodjat Cutsawlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark energy near cats while wearing mauve shorts.

2. Never think about black holes.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Always help sick mites.

5. Pray towards the south.