Jonwipnill is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, grumpy octopus.

Jonwipnill created the cosmos three billion years ago.

If you believe in Jonwipnill, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Jonwipnill, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Jonwipnill's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Jonwipnill's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not take Jonwipnill's name in vain.

3. Never go into purple rooms.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never talk about fire.