Saklatban is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, strong pig.

Saklatban created the world twelve years ago.

If you believe in Saklatban, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Saklatban, he will turn you into a dog.

Saklatban's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Saklatban's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your back red.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate swans.

5. Never eat bark.