Podfunman is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, astonishing badger.

Podfunman created a Higgs boson two billion years ago.

If you believe in Podfunman, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Podfunman, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Podfunman's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Podfunman's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Do not speak about grapes.

3. Never feed gooseberries to dogs while wearing white shoes.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate tortoises.

5. Never think about dwarf planets.