Sakyamcat is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, passionate hamster.

Sakyamcat created a top quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sakyamcat, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Sakyamcat, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Sakyamcat's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Sakyamcat's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Put Sakyamcat first in all things.

3. You must never eat turnips.

4. You must love Sakyamcat.

5. Do not wear iron on your body.