Wabtarg is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, flying gorilla.

Wabtarg created the planet Earth six billion years ago.

If you believe in Wabtarg, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Wabtarg, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Wabtarg's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Wabtarg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate turtles.

3. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Wabtarg on top of all buildings.

4. Never wear rings.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.