Gilcadbonk is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, compassionate fox.

Gilcadbonk created the planet Saturn three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gilcadbonk, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gilcadbonk, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Gilcadbonk's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Gilcadbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Hide from orange great tits for they are unholy.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not commit murder.