Bonkontzak is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, fast eagle.

Bonkontzak created humankind seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkontzak, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bonkontzak, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Bonkontzak's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Bonkontzak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not dye your hair cyan.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bonkontzak.

5. Always wear brown.