Witbeggess is a god.

He takes the form of a small, temperamental zebra.

Witbeggess created the planet Jupiter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Witbeggess, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Witbeggess, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Witbeggess' most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Witbeggess' Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Witbeggess.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

5. Always help sick otters.