Funlitveen is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, astonishing human.

Funlitveen created oxygen two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Funlitveen, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Funlitveen, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Funlitveen's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Funlitveen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick tapirs.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate frogs.