Dussran Narfarnjen Larpbaptab is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, ruthless dolphin.

Dussran Narfarnjen Larpbaptab created dark energy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dussran Narfarnjen Larpbaptab, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Dussran Narfarnjen Larpbaptab, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Dussran Narfarnjen Larpbaptab's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Dussran Narfarnjen Larpbaptab's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Always help porpoises in need.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not hurt turtles.

5. Always look after injured aardvarks.