Tigsomfat is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, almighty fish.

Tigsomfat created silver seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tigsomfat, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tigsomfat, he will turn you into a frog.

Tigsomfat's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Tigsomfat's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine dolphins approach from the north.

2. Never skip in the presence of swans.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Ants are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never talk about photosynthesis.