Fubvadcap is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, narcissistic centipede.

Fubvadcap created Asia three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fubvadcap, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Fubvadcap, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Fubvadcap's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Fubvadcap's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Hide if six eagles approach from the west.