Wiplinbem Cisstaljam is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, smart eagle.

Wiplinbem Cisstaljam created a strange quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Wiplinbem Cisstaljam, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Wiplinbem Cisstaljam, it will jump up and down on your head.

Wiplinbem Cisstaljam's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Wiplinbem Cisstaljam's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in holy places.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Hide from yellow hamsters for they are unholy.

5. Never write about asteroids.