Guplatbem Canlapsis is a god.

It takes the form of a large, wise chicken.

Guplatbem Canlapsis created dark matter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Guplatbem Canlapsis, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Guplatbem Canlapsis, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Guplatbem Canlapsis' most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Guplatbem Canlapsis' Holy Commandments

1. Pigs are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Hide if five ducks approach from the east.