Flapafsat is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, idiotic hummingbird.

Flapafsat created a charm quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flapafsat, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flapafsat, he will destroy your home planet.

Flapafsat's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Flapafsat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

2. Always make sure there are no ducks in a building before entering it.

3. Flapafsat loves birds, so they must be respected.

4. Retreat if eight capybaras approach from the south.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.