Nakguphap is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, impressive monkey.

Nakguphap created the Cigar Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Nakguphap, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nakguphap, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Nakguphap's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Nakguphap's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured snakes.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Nakguphap.

3. Never talk about dark matter near mice while wearing blue boots.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nakguphap.

5. Never talk about ultrasonics near sharks while wearing purple dresses and balancing five silicon spheres on your chest.