Narwatmad is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, narcissistic armadillo.

Narwatmad created gold seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Narwatmad, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Narwatmad, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Narwatmad's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Narwatmad's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never look at planets.

3. Run away if four cats approach from the south.

4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.