Genbonkpib is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, irritating dryad.

Genbonkpib created vertebrates four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Genbonkpib, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Genbonkpib, she will ignore you.

Genbonkpib's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Genbonkpib's Holy Commandments

1. Put Genbonkpib first in all things.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never feed lots of rice to turtles while wearing fawn trousers.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never sing near mice.