Gatbemmil is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, thoughtless pigeon.

Gatbemmil created the universe seven million years ago.

If you believe in Gatbemmil, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gatbemmil, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Gatbemmil's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Gatbemmil's Holy Commandments

1. Aardvarks are not to be trusted.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never feed limes to gulls while wearing kilts.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never write about quantum mechanics.