Jopwit is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, emotional ferret.

Jopwit created a strange quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jopwit, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Jopwit, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Jopwit's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Jopwit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

2. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

3. Never mention bats.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never pour water over plants.