Damzendin is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, confident fox.

Damzendin created matter three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Damzendin, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Damzendin, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Damzendin's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Damzendin's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if five birds approach from the south.

2. Damzendin loves aardvarks, so they must be respected.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Damzendin.

5. Do not kill dogs.