Ranvidvonk is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, narcissistic meerkat.

Ranvidvonk created the Milkyway five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ranvidvonk, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Ranvidvonk, it will turn you into a tree.

Ranvidvonk's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Ranvidvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Tortoises are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Put Ranvidvonk first in all things.

5. Never look in ponds.