Linbotspag is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, staggering crane.

Linbotspag created bats eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Linbotspag, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Linbotspag, she will boil you in a big pot.

Linbotspag's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Linbotspag's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear pink.

2. Hide from black turtles for they are unholy.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always treat horses with great respect.

5. Do not covet oxen.